Disconnecting to Reconnect (Again)

I deactivated my Facebook account again, as soon as my daughter’s fashion design events were finished and I got the photo tags I wanted for posterity. 🙂 Increasingly, every time I go back there, I find that I don’t belong there anymore.

I still value catching up with what’s going in the lives of my family and friends, and I do appreciate the posts in my news feed from many inspirational and informative pages I’ve “Liked”, but I also don’t like the fact that it has a mind-numbing effect after a while of staying on there, and that hours go by so fast when I’m on Facebook.

photo courtesy of ArchiveSocial.com

For the past two years, I’ve been feeling quite adrift in my life, despite the outer trappings of awards and good friends and sponsored travels to speaking engagements nationally and internationally, and being in a good place now with my treasures after 10 years of single parenting.

Somehow, it felt like I’ve lost my taste for life in the sense that I don’t feel attached to a lot of things that most people would hang on to and even die for anymore.  “No more drama” became my mantra and I just lived each day as it came.  That was actually good.

What bothered me, though, was that I also seemed to lose my touch for the good writing I’ve become known for.  Even writing a simple business letter or responding to a business email became an overwhelming task I’d rather put off than attend to immediately.

It wasn’t until I deactivated from Facebook for two and a half months (April 13 – June 4, 2013) that I realized the ennui I have been experiencing was due, in  large part, to information and social media overload!

For those precious, quiet two and a half months this year, I mostly spent even more time alone, just meditating, walking, writing on my journal, cleaning the house, learning how to cook, studying subjects of interest on my own, and even enjoying working even more focusedly again (only when I’m at work; because I’ve also developed the habit of not bringing work home anymore).

I also got back to reading for pleasure again, and soon enough, the writing started flowing again, with more depth and richness, even if they’re only in my journals. I also found my self more attentive and present to the people in my real-time real life whenever I was engaged in conversations with them, because I don’t know what’s going on in their lives, being deactivated from Facebook and all.

I only had to reactivate last June 4 because I had to attend a service-learning conference in Hongkong, and it was easier (and less expensive) for my treasures to contact me via Facebook.  So I found my self back in Facebook again, but after a while, the “newness” of being more socially engaged began to wear off and even burden me, so I would deactivate again for weeks, to reactivate only to check on my treasures and the groups I belong to… and when I’m feeling really lonesome for human company.

But, yes, increasingly, every time I go back there, I find my self not really belonging there anymore.  All the posts that rant and blame and complain about the world particularly get to me, so I’ve even acquired the habit of instantly unfriending people who do these things in my news feed.

As I grow in my inner life and enjoy all the peace and joy and richness here, Facebook loses more and more of its attraction for me.

Still, at times, it can get pretty lonesome too, but hey, I remind my self, I lived a rich solitary life before the Internet and Facebook; I can consciously, mindfully reclaim that life again now,


P.S.  Wow, this feels good, my first original blog post (not pressed, not reblogged) after a long time, long after those prolific 2004-2008 blogging years (pls. see My Blog Roll)! 🙂 ❤

Hmmm… curiously, it was in the middle of 2008 when I started Facebooking.


Will You Dance?

This resonated with me most:

“When was the last time you danced for me?” I don’t think the question was so much about the dancing. The question was more, “When was the last time you simply cut loose and worshiped me so fearlessly?” Have I become so focused on the world around me that my expressions, my nature has become guarded?” ❤


Read: Isaiah 62:6-65:25, Philippians 2:19-3:3, Psalm 73:1-28, Proverbs 24:13-14

In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years. (Isaiah 63:9)

Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. (Psalm 73:23-24)


Relate: Twice yesterday I saw a beautiful thing. Both times was in a fairly crowded restaurant with quite a few people at tables and booths eating their dinners. The first time, from a three year old was fairly expected. Her family was done and getting up to leave. This little girl walked to the booth next to her and struck up a conversation with the elderly couple there. They said something that caused her to show off her dancing and she had no fear doing it. Wiggling her butt, raising up those arms…

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Mindful Living, Staying Conscious

For a more grounded life, choose not to get caught up in the fast-paced world around you.

1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down . You will also discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.

2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.

3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.

4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.

5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.

6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors – can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.

7. See the larger picture. Remember that the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.

8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.

9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.

10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often “on the go” and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.

– from DailyOM