Being Contemplative in a Secular World


I just had to share this, even if it’s from the same resource as the previous post, because it’s on a different but parallel thought track.  These are Thomas Merton’s suggestions (highlighting mine) on how to live the contemplative life in a secular world, as capsulized in a talk by Fr. James Conner, OCSO:

Every person is called to this contemplation. Irrespective of whether one ever has any kind of extraordinary experience or not, irrespective of whether one finds God in light or in darkness, in joy or in sorrow, each person is called to live out this mystery of Christ in his or her own life.- It is not limited to monks or religious, not even to Christians or believers. it is intended for all, and only in that can we find our true fulfillment.

photo credits to Sophy Laughing

Merton certainly realized that seeking such a life and such a way of seeing and experiencing life is not easy for many people who live in the world, whose lives are filled with daily pressures of family, work and myriad of responsibilities. However he did point out several ways that even such people can strive to come to contemplation. In the Inner Experience he spelled out something of a program for such people. He suggested that people who are seeking a contemplative life should form groups to support one another in this endeavor to foster and protect something of an elementary contemplative spirituality. He says that the already existing movements interested in liturgy and the study of Scripture could help in this direction. He encourages contemplative monasteries themselves to help in this, striving not only to provide places for retreat and withdrawal, but to form groups of people who can help and support one another in something like a contemplative Third Order. Such groups could provide their members with books, conferences, direction and perhaps a quiet place in the country where they could go for a few days of meditation and prayer. But he cautions:

if you are waiting for someone to come along and feed you the contemplative life with a spoon, you are going to wait for a long time, especially in America. You had better renounce your inertia, pray for a little imagination, ask the Lord to awaken your creative freedom and consider some of the following possibilities. (12)

photo credits to ContemplativeCottage.com

He then goes on to indicate five possibilities which might be considered:

1) He says that it might be possible by the sacrifice of seemingly good economic opportunities, you could move into the country or to a small town where you can have more time to think. This might involve the acceptance of a relative poverty; if so, all the better for your interior life. The sacrifice could be a real liberation from the pitiless struggle which is the source of most of your worries.

2) Wherever you may be, it is always possible to give yourself the benefit of those parts of the day which are quiet because the world does not value them. One of these is the earlier morning hours. Even if a person cannot put a few hundred miles between himself and the city, if he can get up earlier in the morning he will have the whole place to yourself, and taste something of the peace of solitude. One thinks of the movements for Centering prayer with the encouragement to spend twenty minutes in the early morning and again, if possible in the evening in centering oneself before the Lord in a prayer which is wordless and which enables one to hold on to the Lord by a simple “word” to bring our wandering minds back before the Lord. He encourages one to go to early Mass, even though the later ones may be more splendid and solemn. At the earlier Mass, things are quieter, more sober, more somber, more austere. The poor go to early Mass, because they have to get to work sooner. And Christ is more truly with the poor; His spiritual presence among them makes their Mass the more contemplative one.

3) He says that it should be obvious that Sunday, is set apart by nature and by tradition of the Church as a day of contemplation. Puritan custom tended to make Sunday seem a negative sort of “Sabbath” characterized more by the things one “must not” do. The inevitable reactions against this has stressed the legitimate, but more or less insignificant, recreations that make Sunday a day of rest for the body as well as for the spirit. Sunday is the “Lord’s Day” not in the sense that on one day of the week one must stop and think of Him, but because it breaks into the ceaseless “secular” round of time with a burst of light out of a sacred eternity. We stop working and rushing about on Sunday not only in order to rest up and start over again on Monday, but in order to collect our wits and realize the relative meaninglessness of the secular business which fills the other six days of the week, and taste the satisfaction of a peace which surpasses understanding and which is given us by Christ. Sunday is a contemplative day not just because Church law demands that every Catholic assist at Mass, but because everyone who celebrates this day spiritually, and accepts it at-its face value, opens their heart to the light of Christ the light of the Resurrection. In so doing they grow in love, in faith and are able to ìseeî a little more of the mystery of Christ. Simple fidelity to this obvious duty, realization of this gift of God to us, will certainly help the harassed lay person to take their first steps on the path to a kind of contemplation.

4) No matter where one seeks the light of contemplation one commits one’s self by that very fact to a certain spiritual discipline. This is just as true outside the cloister as in it. But it would be a mistake for a man or woman with all the obligations and hardships of secular life, to try to live in the world like a monk. To try to do this would be an illusion. Active virtue and good works play a large part in the contemplative life that is lived in the world, and for this reason the discipline of the contemplative in the world is first of all the discipline of fidelity to their duty of state – to their obligations as a head of a family, as ,very great sacrifices. Perhaps indeed some of the difficulties of people in the world exact from them greater sacrifice than they would find in a cloister. In any case, their contemplative life will be deepened and elevated by the depth of their understanding of their duties. Mere conformism and lip service is not enough. It is not sufficient to “be a good Catholic”. One must penetrate the inner meaning of the life in Christ and see the full significance of its demands. One must carry -out the obligations not simply as a matter of form, but with a real, personal decision to offer the good one does to God, in and through Christ. The virtue of a Christian is something creative and spiritual, not simply a fulfillment of a law. It must be penetrated and filled with the newness, the Christlikeness, which comes from the action of the Spirit of God in their hearts, which elevates their smallest good act to an entirely spiritual level. But, he cautions, this must entail more than simply verbalizing one’s “purity of intention”. 

5) It follows from this that for the married person, their married life is essentially bound up with their contemplation. It is by marriage that such ones are situated in the mystery of Christ. It is by their marriage that they bear witness to Christ’s love for the world, and in their marriage that they experience both the trials and the joys of love. Their marriage is a sacramental center from which grace radiates out into every department of their lives, and consequently it is their marriage that will enable their work, their leisure , their sacrifices and even their distractions to become in some degree contemplative. For by their marriage all these things are ordered to Christ and centered in Christ. It should above all be emphasized that for the married person, even and especially their sharing of married sexual love enters into their contemplation, and this, as a matter of fact, gives it a special character. The union of husband and wife in nuptial love is a sacred and symbolic act, the very nature of which signifies the mystery of the union of God and human in Christ. Now this mystery is the very heart and substance of contemplation. Hence married love is a kind of material and It is a blind, simple groping way of expressing our need to be utterly and completely one. The Fathers of the Church thought that before the fall Adam and Eve were literally two _in one flesh_, that is to say, they were one single being, that human nature, united with God, was whole and complete in itself. But after the fall they were divided into two and therefore sought by sexual love to recover this lost unity. But this desire is ever frustrated by original sin. The fruit of sexual love is not perfection, not completeness, but only the birth of another Adam or another Eve, frail, exiled, incomplete. But the coming of Christ has exercised the futility and despair of the children of Adam. Christ has married human nature, united man and woman and God in Himself, in one Person. In Christ, the completeness we were born for is realized. In Him’ all are one in the perfection of charity.

Merton concludes this section of his writing by saying that contemplation must not be confused with abstraction. A contemplative life is not to be lived by permanent withdrawal within one’s own mind.

“The true contemplative is not less interested than others in normal life, not less concerned with what goes on in the world, but more interested, more concerned. The fact that he or she is a contemplative makes them capable of a greater interest and a deeper concern. The contemplative has the inestimable gift of appreciating at their real worth values that are permanent, authentically deep, human. truly spiritual and even divine. Their mission is to be a complete and whole person, with an instinctive and generous need to further the same wholeness in others, and in all humanity. They arrive at this, however, not by superior gifts and talents, but by the simplicity and poverty which are essential to their state because these alone keep one traveling in the way that is spiritual, divine and beyond understanding. (13)

Thomas Merton, then, presents to us both the great loftiness of contemplation and at the same time the simple ordinariness of it. It is not something that we do of ourselves, but which Christ does in us if we are poor of heart and ready to receive it from Him. For then He brings us to that original unity in which He created us and He is able to truly exert His Love, His Providence and His care for us, one and all. In that way we become the children of God that we are.

An Honest Question of the Heart


How do contemplatives deal with their sexuality?

As I grow deeper in my prayer and interior life, I find that it also releases bursts of energies which I cannot totally just channel to my work and creative life, so this bothers me, given my Catholic upbringing; it also makes me seriously wonder and question, given my own seeking of authenticity, acceptance and forgiveness, both of self and others.

It’s interesting to note that there are few resources on the Net which directly and thoughtfully answer this question.  I find many resources on the use of sex a as an approach to living the contemplative life, but what I’m looking for is what actual contemplatives do with their own sexuality and sexual drives.

photo credits to ShambhalaSun.com

Then, I come to this

Secular” society is by its nature committed to what Pascal calls “diversion”, that is, to movement which has, before all else, the anaesthetic function of quieting our anguish. All society, without exception, tends to be in some respect “secular”. But a genuinely secular society is one which cannot be content with innocent escapes from itself. More and more it tends to need and to demand, with insatiable dependence, satisfaction in pursuits that are unjust, evil, or even criminal. Hence the growth of economically useless businesses that exist for profit and not for real production, that create artificial needs which they fill with cheap and quickly exhausted products. Hence the wars that arise when producers compete for markets and sources of raw material. Hence the nihilism, despair and destructive anarchy that follows war and then the blind rush into totalitarianism as an escape from despair.

In the sacred society, on the other hand, the person admits no dependence on anything lower than himself, or even outside himself in a spatial sense. His only Master is God. Only when God is our Master can we be free, for God is within ourselves as well as above ourselves. He rules us by liberating us from our dependence on created things outside us. We use and dominate them, so that they exist for our sakes, and not we for theirs. There is no purely sacred society except in heaven. (8)

The problem is that it is painful to face this letting go of our illusions. To face this area means facing our own inner doubts, our own fears. our own anguish. And yet- -such is necessary in order to enter into contemplation or even into true life. Merton says:

The truly sacred attitude toward life is in no sense an escape from the sense of nothingness that assails us when we are left alone with ourselves.

On the contrary, it penetrates into that darkness and that nothingness, realizing that the mercy of God has transformed our nothingness into His temple and believing that in our darkness His light has hidden itself. Hence the sacred attitude is one which does not recoil from our own inner emptiness, but rather penetrates it with awe and reverence, and with the awareness of mystery. This is a most important discovery in, the interior life.

Merton applies this to the coming to final integration. Following Dr. Arasteh he speaks of this Breakthrough in the language of Sufism and calls it “Fana”, annihilation or disintegration, a loss of self, a real spiritual death. This leads us into the traditional way of seeing contemplation as a sharing in the Paschal Mystery of Christ: His death and resurrection. The Scriptures constantly remind us of this theme. “Unless the grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (Jo 12:24). “to live is Christ; to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). This dying and rising is part and parcel of our very Christian life. But it is particularly an essential part of entering into the life of contemplation. Merton says:

This change of perspective is impossible as long as we are afraid of our own nothingness, as long as we are afraid of fear, afraid of poverty, afraid of boredom – as long as we run away from ourselves. What we need is the gift of God which make us able to find in ourselves not just ourselves but Him: and then our nothingness becomes His all. This is not possible without the liberation effected by compunction and humility. It requires not talent, not mere insight, but sorrow, pouring itself out in love and trust.

It does not directly answer my question per se, but it does provide me with a deeper insight and understanding into what it means to live the contemplative life authentically.

Then, this, too –

The Fathers frequently say: “God became man in order that man might become God”. Christ became man in order to reveal to us our own true nature and to empower us to live as children of God. Contemplation is simply living out this mystery, not only in prayer, but in our whole life. Merton says:

If the Son of Man came to seek and save that which was lost”, this was not merely in order to reestablish us in a favorable juridical position with regard to God: it, was to elevate, change and transform us humans into God, in order that God might be revealed in Man, and that all people might become One Son of God in Christ. The New Testament texts in which this mystery is stated are unequivocal, and yet they have been to a very great extent ignored not only by the faithful but also by the theologians. The Greek and Latin Fathers never made this mistake! For them, the mystery of the hypostatic union, or the union of the divine and human nature in the One Person of the Word, the God-Man, Jesus Christ, was not only a truth of the greatest, most revolutionary and most existential actuality, but it was the central truth of all being and all history. It was the key which alone could unlock the meaning of everything else, and even the inner and spiritual significance of the human person, of his actions as an individual and in society, of the world, and of the whole cosmos.

As Merton says: “the very first step to a correct understanding of contemplation is to grasp clearly the unity of God and Man in Christ, which of course presupposes the equally crucial unity of man in himself.” (ibid. ) This, however, remains as the fundamental problem. For we are not in unity within ourselves. As a result of the fall of Adam and its effects on all humanity through all time, we find ourselves divided. We are much more aware of that “false self” which is identified with all our efforts at situating ourselves in a hierarchy of power, prestige and greatness (“like unto God” (Gen. 3:5). This “false self” is preoccupied with whatever will make us “look better” in the eyes of others and of ourselves.

Hmmm. Food for thought over the next few days and weeks.

*******

(Any thoughts or helpful links to similar resources would be most appreciated.)

Total Surrender


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I started reading this book as I was ending my Prayer and Life Workshops (PLW) and I feel very loved and guided by Spirit in my journey. If I learned the fundamentals of cultivating a rich prayer life and intimacy with God, as well as applying my interior learning to my every day life, in PLW, this book takes me further in deepening my understanding of the need for silence and prayer as the font of all acts of love and service.

Although the notes, letters, and snippets of talks in this book were originally addressed to Mother Teresa’s sisters in the Missionaries of Charity, they speak to the everyday person seeking more meaning and depth as they live out their lives in the secular world. Highly recommended!

View all my reviews.

Disconnecting to Reconnect (Again)


I deactivated my Facebook account again, as soon as my daughter’s fashion design events were finished and I got the photo tags I wanted for posterity. :-) Increasingly, every time I go back there, I find that I don’t belong there anymore.

I still value catching up with what’s going in the lives of my family and friends, and I do appreciate the posts in my news feed from many inspirational and informative pages I’ve “Liked”, but I also don’t like the fact that it has a mind-numbing effect after a while of staying on there, and that hours go by so fast when I’m on Facebook.

photo courtesy of ArchiveSocial.com

For the past two years, I’ve been feeling quite adrift in my life, despite the outer trappings of awards and good friends and sponsored travels to speaking engagements nationally and internationally, and being in a good place now with my treasures after 10 years of single parenting.

Somehow, it felt like I’ve lost my taste for life in the sense that I don’t feel attached to a lot of things that most people would hang on to and even die for anymore.  “No more drama” became my mantra and I just lived each day as it came.  That was actually good.

What bothered me, though, was that I also seemed to lose my touch for the good writing I’ve become known for.  Even writing a simple business letter or responding to a business email became an overwhelming task I’d rather put off than attend to immediately.

It wasn’t until I deactivated from Facebook for two and a half months (April 13 – June 4, 2013) that I realized the ennui I have been experiencing was due, in  large part, to information and social media overload!

For those precious, quiet two and a half months this year, I mostly spent even more time alone, just meditating, walking, writing on my journal, cleaning the house, learning how to cook, studying subjects of interest on my own, and even enjoying working even more focusedly again (only when I’m at work; because I’ve also developed the habit of not bringing work home anymore).

I also got back to reading for pleasure again, and soon enough, the writing started flowing again, with more depth and richness, even if they’re only in my journals. I also found my self more attentive and present to the people in my real-time real life whenever I was engaged in conversations with them, because I don’t know what’s going on in their lives, being deactivated from Facebook and all.

I only had to reactivate last June 4 because I had to attend a service-learning conference in Hongkong, and it was easier (and less expensive) for my treasures to contact me via Facebook.  So I found my self back in Facebook again, but after a while, the “newness” of being more socially engaged began to wear off and even burden me, so I would deactivate again for weeks, to reactivate only to check on my treasures and the groups I belong to… and when I’m feeling really lonesome for human company.

But, yes, increasingly, every time I go back there, I find my self not really belonging there anymore.  All the posts that rant and blame and complain about the world particularly get to me, so I’ve even acquired the habit of instantly unfriending people who do these things in my news feed.

As I grow in my inner life and enjoy all the peace and joy and richness here, Facebook loses more and more of its attraction for me.

Still, at times, it can get pretty lonesome too, but hey, I remind my self, I lived a rich solitary life before the Internet and Facebook; I can consciously, mindfully reclaim that life again now,

*******

P.S.  Wow, this feels good, my first original blog post (not pressed, not reblogged) after a long time, long after those prolific 2004-2008 blogging years (pls. see My Blog Roll)! :-) <3

Hmmm… curiously, it was in the middle of 2008 when I started Facebooking.

Will You Dance?


gracewithfire:

This resonated with me most:

“When was the last time you danced for me?” I don’t think the question was so much about the dancing. The question was more, “When was the last time you simply cut loose and worshiped me so fearlessly?” Have I become so focused on the world around me that my expressions, my nature has become guarded?” <3

Originally posted on :

Read: Isaiah 62:6-65:25, Philippians 2:19-3:3, Psalm 73:1-28, Proverbs 24:13-14

In all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years. (Isaiah 63:9)

Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. (Psalm 73:23-24)

dancing

Relate: Twice yesterday I saw a beautiful thing. Both times was in a fairly crowded restaurant with quite a few people at tables and booths eating their dinners. The first time, from a three year old was fairly expected. Her family was done and getting up to leave. This little girl walked to the booth next to her and struck up a conversation with the elderly couple there. They said something that caused her to show off her dancing and she had no fear doing it. Wiggling her butt, raising up those arms…

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Mindful Living, Staying Conscious


For a more grounded life, choose not to get caught up in the fast-paced world around you.

1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down . You will also discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.

2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.

3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.

4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.

5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.

6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors – can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.

7. See the larger picture. Remember that the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.

8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.

9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.

10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often “on the go” and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.

- from DailyOM

Untwisting Through Erotic Work


This article is even more enlightening  and helpful for me.

I participated in an introductory session of dance therapy just a week ago, and one of the tools I learned from there is Tapping, which I have promptly incorporated into my meditation practice now, in the chakra cleansing part as I go into Silencing.  I’ve been Tapping all over my body but mostly on my lower back and pelvic areas as I’ve intuitively felt a heavy kind of energy in these parts (there’s even persistent mild lower back pain, which is quickly relieved as I tap).

The current feelings of being “turned on” lately must’ve been a result of this too! ;-)

The whole point of doing this work is to find blockages, externally, and internally, and to let them go. The more you are able to breathe into what comes up, the easier it becomes to express it and let it go.

Interestingly, the body really hates blocked material. So, “stuff that is stuffed” is going to emerge anyway.

This article’s author, Wayne Allen, further explains:

“Bodywork had its start with Wilhelm Reich, a 20th century student of Freud. He identified what he called body armour / character armour — physical blockages to the free flow of energy.

He worked with his clients using bodywork and breathwork, as well as through talk therapy, as he realized that talking alone wasn’t cutting it as far as healing went.

He realized that trauma of any sort that was not resolved (through the release of the blocked energy) ended up “stuck” in the body

This is armouring – the actual tightening down of muscles, and other structures in the body – so that the trauma is “held in place.” The longer it’s held, the tighter and more blocked the person is.

Reich equated limited lives to restricted energy, which of course also sounds like Chinese medicine. He dubbed the energy “orgone energy,” as in orgasm energy. His idea, which seems way ahead of its time (the 30s, if memory serves,) can be stated this way: “If people learn to have full body orgasms, they’d never need psychotherapy.”

Reich was not speaking metaphorically.

Here’s a quote from the Wilhelm Reich Infant Trust site:

Reich’s orgasm theory set him apart from his colleagues, because it indicated that the libido was a real physical energy that possibly might be measured quantitatively. Reich’s clinical work also led him to develop new therapeutic techniques to eliminate the patient’s character and muscular armor and allow for the flow and discharge of this bio-energy to achieve what he called “orgastic potency,” the capacity for total discharge of sexual excitation in the genital embrace.

In the east, the full release of qi or chi or prana is described similarly.

The fire of this energy release powers through obstructions, and brings about balance and healing… this understanding stretches back to 2500bc and earlier.”

Read the full article at  Sex Archives | The Pathless Path.

Sensuality, Sexuality, Spirituality Entwined


I have been noticing lately, that as I grow in my spirituality through my involvement with the Prayer and Life Workshops Bacolod, I seem to be getting … uhm… “more easily turned on”– by a picture here, a gesture there, a line from a song somewhere.

And then I remember how this happened to me too during the early years of my meditation practice since I started meditating in December 2006.  Is this just me, or what?

So I searched again, and this is what I found.  Very relieved to know!

Your sensual and sexual nature are real. They are fundamental to who you are. The energy “lives” in the root and 2nd chakras, and for most, this energy stagnates there. And then people complain that their life is not stimulating, fun, inspired, passionate and creative. Most people just put up with this. Many are the people who have had “bad” experiences in this area and “stick there,” refusing to move past the accumulated pain, judgment, and distress. Neutral or worse.

Others shut down and pretend to be “spiritual.” They live in their heads and deny their bodies. (Hair shirts, anyone?) Ungrounded spirituality is senseless (get it ??) and foolish, and unworkable. You can be spiritual when you are dead. In the mean time, grounding into all of your feelings is crucial.

Now, some of those feelings will be uncomfortable. If you breathe into them and accept them as a part of you, they will release you from their thrall. And you will move past neutral.

Sensual experience is not a head experience. You’ll not find a satisfactory explanation for why it is essential that we feel, and feel deeply. Rather, to move beyond neutral, there must be a surrendering into the feelings, and a surrendering of the need to know.”

via Sensuality, Sexuality, Spirituality Entwined.

The Power of Silence


Silence can make us nervous thinking we need to fill the void, but there is immense strength in silence.

All sounds, from a whisper to a classical symphony, arise out of silence and disappear into silence. But silence is always there beneath sound and is the space where sound can exist. We tend to think of silence as the absence of sound, but silence has its own weight and quality. When you listen to silence, you can perceive its intense depth and power. Taking the time to experience silence calms the mind and rejuvenates the body. Silence is the void where we can hear the many sounds that we often ignore – the voice of our intuition telling us the truth, the sound of the breeze blowing, the hum of the radiator, and the noises we make just because we are alive.

One way to experience silence is to wake up before the rest of the world has come alive. Try not to move into activity, and leave off the lights, radio, and television. Sit still and simply listen. You may hear your heartbeat or your breath, but keep your attention tuned to the silence that surrounds you. Stay this way for as long as you can, and allow the sound of silence to penetrate your body until it moves into your core. Feel the gentle, pulsing waves of silence and allow it to cleanse you. Five minutes of communing with silence can leave you feeling vibrant and connected to the universe.

At night, choose a moment after everyone around you has retired and tune in to silence. You can also experience silence throughout the day. Even in the midst of activity, moments of silence are always present. Usually we ignore or feel nervous around silence and try to fill these moments with sound. Yet silence is always there – vast, potent, and available for us to step into any time we choose.

- Shared from DailyOM

What To Wear On My Cruise For Formal & Non-Formal Nights


gracewithfire:

Enticing images, good, detailed advice– makes me want to go on one! :-) (I’ve never gone on one before mainly because I didn’t like the idea of feeling “cramped” at sea with lots of people!)

Originally posted on The Cruise Addict:

adults_palo_dine

Hands up who loves to dress up for formal nights on a cruise. Black tie for the guys, full-on frocks and glam accessories for the girls. And hands up again if you can’t stand all of that stuffy stuff.

Yes, we have rather mixed feelings about dress codes on cruises but the important thing is to respect what’s required by the cruise line you’ve chosen to travel with – and your fellow passengers.

If you don’t like dressing up, don’t turn up in the main dining room on a formal night wearing shorts and thongs and expect to be seated – that’s not how it works.

Once upon a time, it wasn’t so complicated. On cruise ships and in first class on ocean liners, formal dress was absolutely required after 6 p.m. — not just in the dining room, but in all the public rooms as well. Until the 1920’s…

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