Deeply Personal

I look at all these blogs I’ve created years ago, here in WordPress, and in some other places, and I just stare.

How was I so prolific then and so quiet now?  What drove me then?  What’s not driving me now?

Maybe it has to do with my going into a deeper level of consciousness, where to speak of the mysteries here I am only beginning to get a grasp of feels like sacrilege, “throwing pearls before swine”, cheapening what is otherwise sacred and sublime, with untimely public sharing.

Still, maybe adding my last-created blog here in my blogroll, Today with God, is a step in bridging that gap, as I attempt to put down into words now my deeper journeys in consciousness.  I hope these help fellow journeyers out there.

now i become myself

‎”Now I become myself. It’s taken
Time, many years and places,
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people’s faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
“hurry, you will be dead before —–”
(What? Before you reach the morning?
or the end of the poem, is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)

Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!…..
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the Sun!

— May Sarton

American poet, novelist, and memoirist.

Saying “YES!” to Life Again

I never realized I have mostly been saying “NO” to Life since Papa and Mama died in early 2008, until I started saying “YES!” again recently.

It feels good to say “YES!” to Life again.

Spring has truly come.

It’s Time

I intend to die at 80. That leaves me 40 years to go.

For the last 40 years of my life so far, I have been mainly taking, receiving, learning from others, even as I sought to find my own way and become comfortable in my own skin. Now that I am in a good place at last (my own skin : >, knowing my way), I figure it’s time to give back, to “pay it forward” so to speak, as the next half of my life spreads out before me.

One would think that with the many sites and blogs I already maintain, I would stay put with these. Well, I guess I surprise even my self up to now. It’s ideas, gut feel, and spark that get to me best. It’s not really about planning and deliberate creation; it’s more like spontaneous combustion for me.

Way back in 2000, after finishing a creative writers’ workshop, I was asked to deliver the “valedictory” speech in behalf of all my other writer-fellows. I remember summing up the experience of the journey in creative writing as being composed of three levels: first, there is writing for catharsis; then, there is writing for self-expression and self-discovery; then, there is writing for craft and communication.

I guess it would apply to this new endeavor, too, although this is not about creative writing. As I created this blog (actually, this was the last one in this series), I also created along with this other blogs (please see Blog Roll) which reflect my interests and passions, as well as my training, education and experience so far.

It’s writing for craft and communication time now, giving back to the world what I have learned so far in my own journeys, studies and reflections.

I see this new endeavor as also a way for me to bridge the link between the so-called experts (the academe, the civil society organizations, even business) in their field that I have worked with for most of my life, with the everyday person and net citizen out there, as that seems to be a vital but still unfulfilled link today.

I have discovered that I have this gift– for linking seemingly unrelated ideas and incompatible people and groups together. Since it’s payback time for me, I might as well use this gift well and to the maximum.

The Net (and WordPress) is a good place to start.